What I know about Frenchie Pugs
We adopted our first and only Frenchie Pug early this year and learned that dogs can indeed have an Indiana Jones complex. Kyra’s adoption came as a second chance at being pet parents; my husband and I dove headfirst into the opportunity. We soon realized that the frenzy of a French bulldog wrapped inside a pug-faced pup equals to the perfect home and office pet. If Kyra had a Linked In profile, this is what it would look like!
About:
Professional Shredder
- Rips, shreds and chews to pulp.
- Newspapers & magazines are included in routine services.
- For papers over 90 GSM, premium rates apply @ 3 frozen carrot sticks or 1 human earlobe.
- For important documents, contact after 10 pm (when my humans are asleep).
- Silent, noise-free mechanism.
Featured:
Human toes and fingers thrown in for regular patrons, at no extra cost.
Experience:
- Chewing other puppies since 2 months and 1 day.
- Chewing Patch, my mother inside and out since 4 months.
- Chewing furniture part-time for 30 days after birth.
- Chewing furniture full-time since 1 month and 1 day.
- Chewing kitchen scraps since 1 month.
- Chewing miscellaneous non-sense since 20 days.
- Chewing expensive footwear since 19 days.
- Chewing wires since 15 days; special rates apply if cord protector present.
Education:
- 2 months of pushing and shoving 6 siblings inside Mother’s womb.
Skills: Ability to thrive in a competitive environment.
- 7 weeks of climbing, chewing, jumping on and biting 6 puppies, 1 adult pug and 1 French bull dog.
Skills: Ability to be assertive under pressure.
- 6.5 weeks of training in the Pug Head Tilt.
Skills: Ability to process complex data sets and demonstrate flawless execution.
- 6.5 weeks of sleeping with 15 other animals in the home, including an African Grey.
Skills: Undivided focus and commitment to goals.
- 6.5 weeks of expert French-bull-dog tutelage in using incisors effectively to wreak havoc.
Skills: Channeling traditional family values into the task at hand.
Licenses & Certifications:
· Self-certified in demonstrating commands ‘Sit’, ‘Down’ & ‘No’ if treats are present.
· Self-certified in Dragging Objects around the living room.
· Self-certified as Whining & Howling when one doesn’t get ones way.
Awards:
Distinction with special merit from the School of Incessant Poos & Wees.
Community work:
- Physical Training imparted to both my humans from bending, crouching & lifting at poop time, which is every 30 minutes.
- Contributing to the sale of floor cleaners, thus supporting the Indian & global economy.
- Chewing furniture and thereby lending character to the living space.
- Yelping at strangers, resulting in improvement of (their) motor reflexes.
Recommendations:
- Our neighbor in 2B, for drowning the sounds of other dogs by continuous squealing at night.
- Our neighbor in 1B, for hastening dry cleaning processes for all floor rugs.
- Our neighbor from 403 (counts as overseas experience, since they live 1 block away) for their fingers, toes and nose for a positive chewing and shredding experience.